Tuesday, June 12, 2012

I Have Abandoned You!

     Oh, blog, how I have abandoned you. I feel guilty because I have not wrapped up my IVF cycle here. I am going to give you the short version. Basically after the retrieval it went like this:

  • Day after retrieval we found out that nothing fertilized.
  • They performed a procedure called "Emergency ICSI or Rescue ICSI" that you can read about here. It is the same procedure explained, just a day later.
  • Doctor told us not to get our hopes up that we would even make it to transfer...devastated
  • Found out a day later that we had 3 embryos...phew
  • 2 days later we transferred 2 embryos, one of which was a really good one
  • Found out 2 weeks later that nothing took
  • Done
     Needless to say, it has been a roller coaster. We have spent the last few weeks trying to figure out how to move on. I spent the first few days ok and in a fog, the next few crying and picking fights with Jim, and now I'm starting to move on. I have wrapped myself up in housework and weight loss. Also, I have tried my best to avoid most social situations in which a baby may or may not be mentioned or seen. It seems to be helping the wounds scab over. I'm thinking if I keep this up for a couple more weeks, I can enter the real world again without worry that I might break down crying in the Walmart parking lot.
     I don't think I'll keep this blog up. There's really no Infertility News to report anymore. We are giving up and moving on. Of course, we will never avoid, but I will no longer be charting, peeing on things, or living by Fertility Friend's calendar. Thank you all for reading And if anyone comes across this that has any questions, please feel free to ask. Good bye!

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